I may have a Limp, but I'm not Lame
by ellaygee
Summary: slightly belated birthday gift for kaciart: When basically everyone gets confusion, it's BAMF!Prompto to the rescue! Even if the forest hates him. And he lost his shoe.


"Fucking shit," Prompto hissed as he picked his way through the muddy thicket, taking care to not place too much weight on his sore ankle. He moaned again when he was not successful, and lightning pain shot up his left leg.

This day was going down in his book at Worst Day Ever.

First, they'd made him skip his morning run in favor of leaving Lestallum early. He wasn't allowed to groan about it, either, because they were going in search of a Royal Arm. And, even though it would make them have to double back and risk being stuck out at night, Gladiolus had _insisted_ they not take his sister with them, so they'd had to get her set up at Cape Caem. Luckily Monica was already there in anticipation of their arrival. They'd had a quick, simple lunch (also to Prompto's annoyance, he'd been looking forward to a real meal cooked in a real kitchen) while Iris unpacked her things.

Iris, sweet girl that she is, was worried for them (ok, she was worried for Noctis...and maybe her brother), and had assigned each of them a particular accessory to wear. An Onion Bangle was bestowed to Ignis, who graciously took it and elbowed Noctis hard in the ribs for pointing out how obvious of a choice the item was. The prince himself received the Genji Gloves; he was able to don them without being dramatic (mostly due to Gladiolus' intense gaze). To her brother she gave a Moogle Charm, and then finally she pinned a Rainbow Pendant to Prompto's vest.

And, of course, he started receiving shit about it the moment they were in the car and driving out of Iris' earshot.

Gladiolus leaned over the seat, poking Prompto in the ribs near where the pendant was fastened. "You know that won't protect you from your _natural_ confusion, right?" This was probably the fifth comment made at his expense, and the shield's jibes were honestly making Prompto feel a little small, but he had covered it up with a laugh and a gentle shove.

But that, unfortunately, was earlier. Now, Prompto was deep in the armpit of the forest, looking for the shield. "Guess the joke's on you, Big Guy…" he grumbled aloud, pushing some moss out of his way and continuing to follow the trail Gladiolus had left behind.

He cursed the soldier wasp that caused the rest of his woes. They'd gotten into the thicket okay, but had not been expecting such a formidable creature.

The monster had been expecting them, however.

It took Prompto's bullets like a champ, barely reacting at all. When Ignis tried to bat it to the side with his polearm, it simply buzzed around his precise swing and dove down stinger first into the space between Ignis' shoulder blades.

The adviser made a horrifying sound Prompto had never heard before, and Noctis began barking out orders. The prince stopped short, though, when Ignis struggled back to his feet, confusion plain upon his features.

"That's not good." Gladiolus mumbled out to Prompto, who'd run up next to the larger man.

Ignis craned his neck, flopping his head jerkily from side to side, hissing out nonsense insults. He dropped his polearm back into the aether and summoned a mismatching set of daggers before lunging towards the prince.

Noctis stumbled back a few paces, dodging Ignis' swipes. "Kill the wasp, I'll get Iggy!" Noctis shouted before doing his best to lure his adviser farther down the path.

"You heard the man, twerp." Gladio quipped but was quick to shove Prompto behind himself as he leapt into action. Shaking his head, Prompto twirled his gun in his hand before taking aim at the creature's wings, crippling it with a barrage of bullets. Gladiolus was there to cut it in half once it hit the ground.

They wasted no time in running down the path to help Noctis with Ignis. But, of course, because this is the Worst Day Ever, they found an even more nightmarish scenario than they expected. Four lesser wasps had been lying in wait, and had set to attacking the already hindered duo. They were both on the ground, barely able to stand due to how many times they'd been stung.

Gladiolus ran roaring into the fray, his weapon flashing in the late afternoon sun as he struck out at the nearest wasp. Prompto hung back, assessing the situation.

There were too many of them to fight individually, especially with two members of the team down. If only...of course! He dropped his gun back into the armiger, and summoned his gravity well instead. He ran into the melee, screaming out for Gladiolus to move. The shield cast him a quick glance before complying, diving out of the center of the storm of wasps.

Activating the weapon, Prompto whooped loudly as the wasps were caught up in the force and dragged towards him. This made it easier for Gladiolus to attack them as they struggled against the traction. Unfortunately, the warrior himself was pulled in as well, and he tumbled into one of the wasp's stingers, getting a belly-full of their confusion venom. It took only seconds for his pained expression to twist to rage. Those dark amber eyes settled on Prompto, and he quickly scrambled back a few steps, nearly losing his balance thanks to the heavy piece of machinery.

"Shitshit _shit!_ " Prompto turned off the weapon and dropped it back into the armiger, this time reaching in for a remedy. He dashed to where Noctis and Ignis were struggling back up, hoping that Gladiolus would get distracted by something shiny and not follow.

He overestimated how much traction his boots had against the spongy earth and ended up sliding into Noctis, knocking them both into a small, semi-dry ravine. They went tumbling ass-over-elbow the whole way down, every protruding rock seeming to have it personally out for Prompto. Once they careened to a stop in a giant puddle of mud, Prompto rolled over onto his hands and knees and searched for the remedy he'd lost in the fall.

Miraculously, it lay intact just a few feet from where the prince was rousing, and the blonde scrambled over to the curative, pulling off the top as he duck-walked over to Noctis and sat down hard on his friend's torso. It required a little struggling and one bitten hand, but he was able to get the prince to ingest the magic concoction, sighing in relief when the other man came back to himself.

Prompto rolled off his friend, laying on his back and breathing hard, listening to Noctis moan about his unexpected predicament.

Prompto had been hit with confusion more than once; it was not pleasant. It messed with your memories, and made you paranoid and insanely angry. It twisted the faces of your friends until you saw only foes. And it always _always_ took a long time to come down from.

Noctis was still a little wild-eyed when they both sat up, glancing around at imagined noises. "I hurt anyone?"

"Nah, bro, I got you in time. We gotta get Iggy and Gladio, though. They're both hit, too."

"Fuck."

"Yeah, you're telling me." Prompto wobbled to his feet, ignoring the black spots that danced in his vision from the headrush. He reached down and helped Noctis up, having to lunge forward and grab him when the prince stumbled and cried out, holding onto his lower back.

"I think something happened-" he trailed off, pulling the shirt up to where Prompto could see a heinous bruise spreading across his skin, creeping over the delicate raised flesh of his scar.

Prompto reached into the armiger for a potion, but came up empty.

"The hell?" He muttered, trying again, and failing.

Noctis reached as well, and was also unable to find a curative. "I thought we just restocked?"

"We did." Prompto glanced back up the ravine, where he could still hear a commotion. He raised up a hand to shush Noctis and cocked his head, listening. Sure enough, within seconds he heard the tell-tale shattering of glass.

"Dude, pull all the curatives out of the armiger you can find, ok?" He didn't wait for an answer as he scrambled back up the side of the ravine, scraping his palms raw as he grabbed knotted roots and protruding rocks to help him on his way.

He paused on a small ledge just below where they fell from the path, peeking out at the scene.

Ignis was the kind of person whose body reacted dramatically to medicine. Cough syrup threw him for a loop, pain pills put him on his ass, antihistamines left his mind fuzzy for insane amounts of hours...it was really all quite annoying.

Lucky for him, he was a healthy man with few allergies beyond cats, so he did not not often need medicine.

Unfortunately for him, these types of extremes worked for the various venoms and poisons foisted upon him by the creatures in the wilds. So, when the soldier wasp released its confusion venom into his bloodstream, it hit him _hard_.

All the wasps now lay dead, and Ignis was dancing among them, tossing out bottles he pulled from the armiger at random.

"Imps! Godsdamned imps in the laundry!" The adviser summoned a dagger and waved it at one of the dead wasps. "I'll not abide you eating my cake!"

"What in the living fuck?" Prompto muttered to himself, ducking down just in time to avoid Ignis' searching gaze.

When he dared to look again, Ignis had moved a little closer to him, but he stood with his back to where Prompto was hidden.

The adviser was shaking his head and muttering: "It's no matter, it's no matter, got to put the eggs in the batter." Ignis cocked his head to the side suddenly, and Prompto cringed at the audible pop. When the man spoke again, his voice was low and sinister. "Noctis? Is that you?"

The deadly tone in Ignis' voice dried up Prompto's mouth and he swallowed hard. But, when Ignis moved, it was to dart into the underbrush and disappear from view.

The gunman let out a breath he'd been unaware he was holding. Glancing down to where Noctis sat looking pathetic upon the muddy ground, Prompto had to make a few decisions.

It was going to get dark within an hour or two, and the daemons would be spawning soon. He needed to get Noctis somewhere safe, since the prince was in no shape to fight.

Ignis and Gladiolus were both confused, and both dangerous. The status effect would wear off eventually, but until then they'd be free to run amok, and may possibly kill someone or themselves or each other in their temporary madness. He could not leave them out there.

He picked his way back down to Noctis and helped the young man to his feet once more. "Ok, so I'm pretty sure that there is a fire deposit up the road a ways; I saw it earlier when we were on higher ground. And element deposits usually mean Havens, so I think we need to head that way. Were you able to save anything?"

"Uh, a remedy, two antidotes, a phoenix down, and a handful of maiden's kisses."

"Well shit."

"Yeah."

Prompto wiped his hand down his face, blowing out an overwhelmed breath. "Ok, so give me the remedy and the phoenix down. I guess we need to keep the rest out-"

"Nah," Noctis nearly wheezed, and for the first time Prompto saw the waxiness of the prince's complexion. "I, uh, cut them off? Basically forced a weapon for each of them into a pocket they can still access-can't leave them totally unarmed-and blocked them from the rest."

Prompto gave his friend a look that was half surprised, half in awe. "Oh, ok. Didn't know you could do that."

Noctis shrugged. "I don't like to." He cut off further conversation by attempting another step forward and hissing out a curse when his back seized up.

It was tough, but they managed it; getting to the Haven involved a botched attempt at warping that just left Noctis in more pain, one short slide back down into the mud, and a near run-in with a mandrake.

Once there, Prompto quickly got Noctis settled and was on his way again. Luckily, without his royal burden, he was able to make it back to the scene of the insanity fairly quickly. He chose the first trail leading away from the wasp carnage.

Due to the recent heavy rains, there were swampy parts all throughout the Malmalan Thicket, and they seemed to be hunting Prompto down as if nature herself had it out for him.

When he slid in the mud for approximately the ninth time, the toe of his boot wedged under a twisted root, forcing his ankle in all kinds of wrong directions. He saw white before he hit the ground hard with a startled yelp. Fueled by pain and adrenaline, he yanked on it multiple times, succeeding only in causing himself more agony. Gritting his teeth, he quickly unlaced the boot and gingerly freed his foot. He wrapped the already swelling ankle as best he could with a torn bit from the skirting of his vest, and hobbled to the closest thing to dry land he could find since leaving the actual path.

Some Astral somewhere must have pitied him, for he found Gladiolus only a few minutes later. The shield was grumbling to himself as he paced under the reaching branches of a stand of trees.

When he turned his back to the blonde, Prompto shimmied up into the tree branches, stifling groans at every protestation of his ankle the whole way up. He had to climb higher than he'd like, but that was the only way for him to cross over to the next tree unnoticed. He positioned himself a few feet above the pacing warrior, waiting for the perfect moment.

Gladiolus let out a growl, nearly foaming at the mouth as he stopped to search for the source of the random noises he kept hearing. Luckily for Prompto, the man's senses were dulled, and he was taken completely by surprise when the smaller man dropped down onto his shoulders, wrapping his legs around the warrior's thick neck.

He hated to do it, but the cheap way was the only way he was going to succeed without actually hurting his friend. Prompto clapped his hand over Gladiolus' mouth and nose, and tightened his legs as well, cutting off the older man's air supply.

The shield was force to be reckoned with. He punched at Prompto's sides and back, doing his best to dislodge the freckled youth, but still the blonde held on until the fight left the older man. Eventually, Gladiolus sunk to his knees and began to sway. This is when Prompto finally scrambled down and summoned the remaining Remedy from the armiger. He forced the warrior's lips apart and he was able to get him to drink the curative without further issue.

Prompto hobbled over to lean against a tree while the warrior slowly regained his senses. Above them, the sky was turning beautiful shades of orange and purple, the remaining storm clouds a heavy leaden silver haunting the sunset.

When he finally lumbered to his feet and wiped a shaky hand down his face, the shield was himself again. Prompto took a few moments to explain the situation

"Six, I'm sorry, Kid." Gladiolus frowned down at his smaller friend, taking in all his pathetic glory.

Prompto waved off his apology, shaking his head. "Wasn't all you. Trust me, you're a wuss in comparison to how bad this damn forest has it in for me."

Gladiolus gave him a small laugh. "You should get back to the Haven, let me find Iggy."

"Yeah, I mean, that sounds good and all, but Iggy is kind of crazy right now? LIke, I'm pretty sure he has it out for Noct, so the best place for you is probably protecting him."

"Well, then, let's go back to the Haven and wait out the confusion. Iggy will figure it out on his own and make it back."

But Prompto had to be the voice of reason as he pointed up at the sky. "It's getting dark, Big Guy. We can't both go back to the Haven and leave Iggy out here to get eaten by daemons. Noct is both unprotected and hurt. You should be with him."

Prompto shot him a toothy grin. "I still have a remedy, and once I get it in him, everything will be fine." He held his expression as best he could, hoping the older man would not notice the lie.

"I don't like it." Gladiolus finally intoned, shaking his head. "Fine, but you get your ass back to the Haven by the time the sun is fully down, Iggy or no Iggy, got it?"

Prompto nodded once, and threw the older man a shaky salute. He waited for Gladiolus to be out of sight before he pushed himself off the tree and started hobbling back towards the last place he'd seen Ignis.

He stifled a cry when he took his first step, but grit his teeth in determination. He couldn't draw Gladiolus' attention back to him; if the warrior knew he'd messed up his ankle, he would have been made to go back to camp.

In hindsight, that would have probably been the better decision.

* * *

He was not on Iggy's trail long before he realized he should have just gone with Gladiolus. Though it meandered a bit, the broken twigs and flattened grass signs that the warrior had taught him to read all pointed to Ignis finding his way down to the Haven. He could only hope that Ignis hadn't made it there first.

He forced himself to take it slow, hobbling from one tree to the next and stopping to listen for Ignis every few minutes. He found the man not far from the Haven, having some sort of heart to heart with a tree.

"I like the smell of eggs _because_ I like the smell of eggs, and I don't have to explain anything to you!" Ignis near-shouted at the tree before whipping around and grinning evilly at Prompto, eyes wild. "Have you seen Noctis?" he snarled before summoning the lone dagger the prince left him with and brandishing it at the gunman. "I need to have a word with him."

Before Prompto could force out a breath between trembling lips, Ignis was charging him, howling almost inhumanly. The stumbled back, narrowly avoiding the underhanded swipe of Ignis' dagger. He quickly spun on his good ankle, and slammed his forearm into Ignis' back, sending him to tumble into the underbrush.

Prompto may be a lot of things, but stupid wasn't one of them. Ok, maybe it could be argued that sometimes he did some dumb things, but he learned from his mistakes, and that's what mattered. Right now, for instance, he was learning that he was no match for the Psycho Killer Edition of Ignis, so he did the next best thing he could think of: he dove on top of the older man, driving him into the muck.

Ignis bucked and howled, but Prompto held fast, letting the adviser wear himself out. This was a surprisingly long process, but soon enough, Prompto was able to tentatively sit up.

The thought struck him and the pure 'duhness' of it nearly made him strike himself. The answer to his problem was so obvious.

He summoned the standard First Aid kit from the armiger and popped open the little latches. Inside was a treasure trove of gauze and ointments and bandaids and...yes. Yes, thank the Six yes-smelling salts.

His fingers fumbled a bit as he opened the tiny packet, rearing his head back when the odor hit him. Prompto wasted no more time in waving the foul-smelling powders under Ignis' nose, riding out another wave of struggles as the older man fought against the curative.

"What in Shiva's name happened?" He asked, a haggard but dreamlike quality to his tone.

"Wasp fucked you up good, Iggy. Everybody, really."

The adviser took in his own torn and mud soaked clothing before casting a critical gaze across Prompto's crumpled form.

"You're hurt."

Prompto merely nodded at this. "Yupp."

Ignis frowned, struggling to his feet.

"Where is your shoe?"

Prompto shrugged. "Swamp ate it."

Nonplussed, Ignis reached out to help Prompto to his feet. "It sounds like you're having a shit day."

Prompto let out a genuine laugh at this. "Yeah, Iggy. Worst. Day. Ever."

* * *

It took a little convincing for Gladio to let them near the campsite or Noctis. The shield begrudgingly allowed Ignis to tend their injuries, not giving up his vigilant watch until the other man's tasks were completed.

Apparently, Ignis had already visited once before Prompto found him, and he'd left a cut up tent, destroyed cookstove, and traumatized (and slightly bleeding) Noctis in his wake. But that was all a story for another time.

For now, Prompto was content to let Noctis pull him into an awkward spooning position, whispering his thanks and nuzzling the gunman's neck gently. Warm and content, if a little worse for wear, Prompto fell fast asleep next to the fire.

 ** _i hope you enjoyed! I may do a follow up of what transpired between Iggy and Noct if there's enough interest...and if I have enough time, lol. Anyway, thanks for reading!_**


End file.
